Weathering Emotional Storms – Part 2

In the previous blog, we explored the concept of Distress Tolerance, its origins and why we need to build this very important skill for our emotional wellbeing.

Now, let’s dive into practical steps to increase your capacity for withstanding distress.

Building Distress Tolerance: A Guide to Navigating Negative Emotions

Negative emotions are often perceived as threats to our well-being, but they play a crucial role in our survival. Rather than fearing or avoiding them, we should recognize that distress is a transient experience, constantly fluctuating and eventually passing.

Embracing Distress with Mindfulness

Accepting distress involves recognizing negative emotions for what they are and shifting how we pay attention to them. This approach is known as mindfulness, a skill that entails becoming an observer of our emotions.

Mindfulness involves:

  1. Observing and Labelling Emotions: Watch your emotions as they arise without immediately reacting, and describe them in clear terms. This helps create a sense of detachment and clarity.
  2. Cultivating Curiosity: Approach your emotions with a non-judgmental attitude, being curious about what you feel and why.
  3. Focusing on the Present: Ground yourself in the current moment to prevent being overwhelmed by emotions, using imagery or other techniques to stay centred.

Opposite Action: Countering Escape Urges

To effectively manage distress, it’s essential to act opposite to your typical escape methods, which might include avoidance, reassurance seeking, distraction, suppression, substance use, overeating, excessive sleep, or harmful behaviours. Instead, allow yourself to experience the distress and engage in activities that either activate or soothe you. These are known as “distress improvement activities,” and they require experimentation to determine what works best for you during moments of distress.

Problem Solving for Long-term Improvement

Once your distress is more manageable, consider whether you can change the situation causing the distress. If you have some control over the situation, you can use a systematic approach to problem-solving:

  1. Identify the Problem: Clearly define the issue.
  2. Generate Solutions: Brainstorm potential ways to address the problem.
  3. Evaluate Solutions: Assess the pros and cons of each solution.
  4. Choose a Solution: Select the most viable option.
  5. Implement the Solution: Take actionable steps to resolve the problem.
  6. Review the Outcome: Reflect on the effectiveness of the solution and make adjustments if necessary.

By integrating mindfulness, opposite action, and problem-solving, you can build a robust capacity for distress tolerance, enhancing your ability to navigate negative emotions and improve your overall emotional well-being.

If any of this sounds challenging and you would like more help and guidance on how to improve your distress tolerance, feel free to reach out and make an appointment. I can help you gain a better ability to sit with your uncomfortable feelings and avoid the escape behaviours that keep you stuck in the cycle.